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Whoah, Cowboy Curtis! I think the secret word for today is nipples. Much like the pronunciation of the letter “L” in salmon, there’s something about a Stetson in Miami that just seems…wrong. First off, where are the cows? Sure, there were some pastures off of the Turnpike back in the 80s when Laurence Fishburne was lassoing a talking terodactyl on Pee-Wee’s Playhouse, but by the release of the Matrix those cows were as long gone as the ones that contributed to Neo’s leather pants. Okay, there is that incongruous horse country out in the middle of Kendall and plenty of rodeos down in Homestead, but there’s something about the sky blue tank top and the Rollerblades he was sporting that leads one to believe that this guy’s a little more John Voit than John Wayne.

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Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.