Whoah, Cowboy Curtis! I think the secret word for today is nipples. Much like the pronunciation of the letter “L” in salmon, there’s something about a Stetson in Miami that just seems…wrong. First off, where are the cows? Sure, there were some pastures off of the Turnpike back in the 80s when Laurence Fishburne was lassoing a talking terodactyl on Pee-Wee’s Playhouse, but by the release of the Matrix those cows were as long gone as the ones that contributed to Neo’s leather pants. Okay, there is that incongruous horse country out in the middle of Kendall and plenty of rodeos down in Homestead, but there’s something about the sky blue tank top and the Rollerblades he was sporting that leads one to believe that this guy’s a little more John Voit than John Wayne.
Keep Miami New Times Free... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.