Stye Soldiers - Art Basel Edition

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The lady’s shirt looks like a 2-year-old took a blue pen and went to town on it. Why must people insist on wearing things like this to art events? I don’t need the way you dress to add to the confusion.

Rarely does wearing pants and shirts that are the same color work, much less when that color is Pepto-Bismol pink. What is it with that window curtain? Oh wait, that’s a sarong. Maybe she brought it along to hide behind.

A scarf. Really? It was not that damn cold. And I don’t know about you but I’m reminded of a tattered, old-school prison uniform when I look at the dress. Still, it would’ve been all right if only it wasn’t for that scarf.

You know what? However much I want to poke fun of the guy in the green shirt for his hat, he actually pulls it off. His friend in the back is a little clichéd but at least it actually looks like he didn’t care what he put on. I wonder how many hours he put into the I-just-grabbed-stuff-out-of-my-closet look?

I never thought someone could mess up t-shirt and jeans, the most casual form of dress on the planet. Yet this guy managed to do so. That design on the jeans kills the entire look. I guess he was trying to be artsy.

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Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.