Take a seat, PetCo Park. Nice knowing you U.S. Cellular Field. Farewell, Citi (Taxpayer Bailout) Field.

Very soon, a new champion for the worst corporate named stadium in the land shall be crowned right here in South Florida, at the venue previously known quite logically and respectably as Dolphin Stadium.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to: Land Shark Stadium.

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WHY? WHY MUST YOU DESTROY ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY IN SOUTH FLORIDA, JIMMY BUFFETT?

Sorry. Deep breaths. It's just that those of us here at Riptide like going to Marlins games without thinking about "Margaritaville" and the god-awful Corona-ripoff brew that will apparently soon be our baseball corporate overlords.

The Marlins haven't made this deal official yet, but we just got an invite to an "exclusive live music performance and media announcement for a major unveiling on behalf of Dolphin Stadium" featuring Jimmy Buffett on May 8th.

So we're going to take that as proof that this is a done deal. And also that God does not exist.