Skateboard Marathon Saturday: Rare Chance to Kick New Times' Ass at Athletics

We are a sickly lot here at the New Times. Our desks are covered with asthma inhalers and antibacterial gel. We are still wearing surgical masks 16 months after swine flu ended. Hell, we even have to bathe in SPF 90 sunscreen every morning lest we burst into flames walking to our car.

So it comes as a great surprise that we have somehow allowed ourselves to be tricked into participating in tomorrow's 26.2-mile Adrenalina Skateboard Marathon in Hallandale.

Today is the last day to register, however. Oh, and did we mention the $10,000 first-place prize?

If that's not incentive enough, you can always bask in the glory of crushing us geeky little dweebs who spend hours at our cubicles churning out "news."

Either way, you'll have some stiff competition. Canadian Paul Kent (see photo) has brought his longboard all the way down from Calgary. Last year, he skated over 250 miles in 24 hours. And no, it was not all downhill.

Meanwhile, 18-year-old Matt Elver - who holds the current world record for the event - has skipped out of school in the U.K. to teach a lesson to us Yanks. Were it not for his charming accent, we would be terrified.

If you do sign-up this morning, it will cost you $120. You will also have to register in-person TODAY from 2 - 10 p.m. at the new Adrenalina Store at Gulfstream Park on Hallandale Beach and Federal Highway. The marathon begins at 8 a.m. on Saturday at the same location.

Good luck and remember: there is nothing to fear but fear itself, and the fact that we will write mercilessly about your failings as a human being if we finish ahead of you.

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Michael E. Miller was a staff writer at Miami New Times for five years. His work for New Times won many national awards, including back-to-back-to-back Sigma Delta Chi medallions. He now covers local enterprise for the Washington Post.