4
| Flotsam |

Shooters, Beware Miami-Dade's Trap Nazi

^
Keep New Times Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Miami and help keep the future of New Times free.

I bought a shotgun some time ago from a private detective in the hopes that I would get better at shooting clay discs out of the sky. Don’t ask me why. It fills a void –like stamp collecting, or knitting, or alligator wrestling.

But there is one major obstacle in my way: the Trap Nazi. If you want to shoot clay pigeons in Miami-Dade county, you have to shoot under his supervision. He manages the only public trap facility in town from a life guard’s chair at the Trail Glades Range.

His skin is burned an orange hue and he never smiles. His sinewy frame and jilted macho march remind me of a young Hunter S. Thompson. A turquoise Bhudda hangs from his neck and he once made mention of having attended Harvard University. In his quiet moments, he can be seen smoking enormous cigars. His name is Mike and he is given to rapid mood swings, shouting and acts of overt passive-aggression.

“Is that a loaded gun on the range?” he once spat, as I emptied the chamber in preparation for a round of shooting. “You idiot!” he cried. “I’d really take you to town, by God, if there wasn’t a lady present,” he said, thumbing to somone’s daughter about 30 yards away.

I believe he hates me and I miss, often, as a result.

His name, according to the man who answered the phone at Trail Glades, is Mike Kuvin. He’s been there for “a long time,” the guy said. “More than ten years, I think. Who is this?”

And then I hung up. The Trap Nazi would not enjoy being interviewed, I guessed. --Calvin Godfrey

Keep Miami New Times Free... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

 

Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.

 

Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.