See, We're Not the Only State That Can Screw Up an Election

It has been over eight years now since Florida changed the history of the world forever by not being able to count votes correctly, and we have been apologizing for it ever sense. I mean, we weren't sorry enough to not vote for Bush in 2004, and Broward County wasn't sorry enough to avoid that whole Miriam Oliphant scandal, and we weren't sorry enough to avoid that whole meaningless primary debacle last year (but hey, that worked out pretty well for Obama, didn't it?). But we were sorry enough about it to vote for Obama by a pretty big margin in 2008. So can you please shut up about it now, especially considering it seems no one else knows what to do with a razor-thin election, either.

It is April, and Minnesota still does not have a Senator. There were lizard people involved in that election battle.  Lizard people! The worst we had was hanging chads! While it seems like admitted SNL cast member Al Franken will eventually take the seat, the GOP might try and drag the legal battle out for years.

Meanwhile, up in some rural portion of New York the special election to fill Senator Kirsten Gillibrand's former House seat is still weeks away from having a winner.

Continue Reading

See, the whole Florida 2000 election had nothing to do with any inbred

stupidity of the Florida people as so many jokes tried to imply (shut

up, half these people aren't even from Florida in the first place), but

everything to do with the fact that our election system kind of breaks

down when races come down to a fraction of a percent. Add in tons of

partisan lawyers, shreaking cable tv heads, and copious amounts of

party money (and in our case some stupid, outdated system known as the

Electoral Congress) and of course it's going to turn into a three ring


So stop blaming us, the innocent people of Florida, for

the 2000 election debacle (though, we will take full blame and shame

for Katharine Harris).

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


All-access pass to the top stories, events and offers around town.

  • Top Stories