Saturday Night: Joel McHale at South Beach Comedy Festival

Joel McHale loves pussy.


not just the kind that sits in front of a plate of sauce-free

spaghetti, but also the kind that belongs to his wife. That way, when

it gets stung by a bee in the park while she's pregnant, he can totally

use the story as material for his stand-up.

Just like he did

last Saturday night at the South Beach Comedy Festival during a

performance in which he admitted to adoring many, many more things.

Like giving trashy reality shows new names such as "Huge Hefner's Merry

Band of Albino Ho's" (The Girls Next Door) and "You Should've Been Aborted" (My Super Sweet 16). Comparing Kourtney and Khloe Kardashian to George Milton and Lennie from Of Mice or Men was a source of great joy for the host of The Soup.

But his greatest adulation had to be the revelation that he could see

boobs bronze for free on our model-filled beaches, which seemed to even

surpass his devotion to his son, Eddie -- a toddler the comic

is convinced feeds through photosynthesis and pretends to be a dog so

he can take dumps in the McHales' garden.

And although tales

of his cheap-ass Costco-gas-station-loving father and man-voice

mother-in-law were humorous, no one tops McHale in blasting

celebrities. Not even snarky wannabe's such as Ryan Seacrest, whom McHale

is finally allowed to make eye-contact with in the hallways of E! and will one day slay Tom Cruise in order to gain the title of "president of the world."

And yes, you read that right, cast of Best Week Ever and Topanga (via The Dish) said "no one tops McHale." 

Well, okay, other than Mankini.

And Tyra Banks. But

only if she goes undercover as an obese homeless person whose size of her ego can be topped only by the height of her forehead.

KEEP MIAMI NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Elyse Wanshel
Contact: Elyse Wanshel