Rick Scott Releases Ad That Proves He Was Not Hatched From Egg

Despite winning the Republican nomination to run for Governor, Floridians may not know that much about the early life of Rick Scott, the self-funded Naples billionaire with a shady business past. Despite rumors to the contrary, he apparently is not Lord Voldermort. Nor did he run in Minnesota's 2008 senate election as a write-in candidate under the name "Lizard People." He is actually a real life human being with a mother and everything and has released a new ad to prove it. He even used to have hair! But, wait, is that ginger hair?

Here's Scott's latest ad which features his mother, Esther Scott.

So Rick Scott wasn't always a rogue businessman. He used to be normal people, like you and me. He went to public school, and even used to have hair. Though, it's hard to tell from the tint of the photograph, but is that red hair? Was Rick Scott born a ginger? These are the tough questions he's going to have to answer if wants those coveted Eric Cartman and M.I.A. endorsements.

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Kyle Munzenrieder