Business

Not Even FIU's Cheerleading Team and Marching Band Can Survive the Recession

We imagine Florida International University higherups had some tough meetings to attend when they cut both the school's cheerleading squad and marching bands this week. 


Imagine facing a roomful of cheerleaders to let them know their services are no longer needed. 

"But, we're cheerleaders..." 

"I know, and we just can't afford you right now." 

"Would a dazzling array of spirit fingers change you mind?"

"I'm sorry, but no." 

"We've got spirit! Yes we do! We've got spirit! How about you? Wait, you obviously don't, you spiritless douchebags."

Head cheerleading coach Maria George reportedly offered to work for free and cut the team's operation budget down to zero, but the athletic department still decided to do away with the squad.

The marching band meeting probably ended with the sad wah-wah of the trombone section. 

The cuts came as the athletic department needed to trim $1 million from their budget next year due to recent economic troubles. 


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Kyle Munzenrieder