Sports

No One Wants to Be the Dolphins' Defensive Coordinator

No one wants to coordinate the Miami Dolphins' defense!

The frontrunner in the race to replace fired Paul Pasqualoni, former University of Virginia coach and the remora to Bill Parcell's Big Tuna, Al Groh, took the same position at Georgia Tech. Yeah, whatever, Groh, you can go Yellow Jacket. The guy was one of those post-9/11 reactionary racists and read a friggin' poem during his last postgame conference with the Cavaliers. That has little to do with his coaching ability, but Groh seems to have a few screws loose.

Keith Butler, the Steelers' linebacker coach, has also turned down the job, preferring instead to wait until their defensive coordinator, 72-year-old Dick Lebeau, kicks the bucket or retires.

The Fins might look inside and promote secondary coach Todd Bowles, but they'll most likely wait until after this weekend's round of playoff games. Parcells, coach Tony Sparano, and GM Jeff Ireland all have history with the Dallas Cowboys, and if they don't win, the Fins could be raiding the Cowboys' coaching offices once again.

However, if they still can't find anyone to take the job, we hear Conan O'Brien is looking for a paycheck.

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Kyle Munzenrieder