It's early January, so you know what that means: resolution time. If you're like me, you spent yesterday planning how 2019 is totally going to kick 2018's ass. By planning, of course, I mean scrolling other people's Instagram feeds, liking their New Year's Eve pictures.
Hey, everyone knows it's an unwritten rule that New Year's resolutions begin January 2. New Year's Day is a time of reflection and also hangovers. Nobody starts being vegetarian or working out on New Year's Day. It's understood.
Here we are, though, toe-deep in 2019, changing ourselves for the better. That means everything. Including how we go about cheering for our favorite sports teams. Looking ahead to the new year, here are a few New Year's resolutions we think Miami sports fans should consider.
1. Canes fans: Stop declaring 'The U' back until it's obviously true. The shocking fall from a 10-0 start to last season that saw the Canes, at one point, ranked as the second team in America, to Mark Richt resigning and retiring after a 7-6 finish to this past season reminds us all of one thing: The 'U' is not back until it's all the way back.
Up to and before that point, the Canes are not back. It's just called "a good season." It has happened before. And to anyone who witnessed the past domination, one decent season should not resemble anything that would constitute declaring the Canes as "back."
2. Dolphins fans: Stop settling for less. Somewhere along the line, Dolphins fans lowered their ceiling. Four decades ago, the goal wasn't to make the playoffs but to win the Super Bowl. All of it. You know, the Super Bowl? Remember thinking that? Now it seems like if a (haha former) coach like Adam Gase and a quarterback such as Ryan Tannehill somehow qualify, it should go to the top of their resume as something to brag about.
It shouldn't. Miami Dolphins coaches have been fired for doing more than the best Gase has done. Miami Dolphins quarterbacks — including Dan Marino — have been disposed of for doing ten times what Tannehill has accomplished in Miami.
Now that Gase and GM Mike Tannenbaum are gone or reassigned, Dolphins fans should expect better.
3. Miami Heat fans: Stop trying to talk yourselves into Hassan Whiteside. Center Hassan Whiteside doesn't care about you. That goes for "you" if your name is Pat Riley or "you" if your name is Edgar Ruiz, Miami Heat fan in Doral. He cares about himself, fish he talks to from time to time in his home, and his reflection.
Whiteside will never give 48 straight minutes of full effort, and he certainly will never live up to the four-year max contract Pat Riley gave him out of desperation. Stop trying to talk yourselves into Hassan Whiteside being a thing and Miami Heat culture existing. They are polar opposites.
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4. Marlins fans: Give Derek Jeter a chance. Honestly, Marlins fans — what's done is done. Stanton, Yelich, Ozuna, and all the other players the Marlins have dumped to save money over the past two decades are not walking back through that door just because you're mad online. Stop it. Derek Jeter did not come to Miami to make money or friends. He was already filthy rich, bleeping-famous, and could have sailed off to Bora Bora and read books under a palm tree for the rest of his life. He came to Miami to fix this mess and win multiple World Series.
Give him a damn chance. He and his ownership group got Jeffrey Loria and David Samson out of town. For that, at least, he deserves a three-year window to rebuild this mess.