Columns

Mugshots Friday: Hustle Too Hard

Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that series.

Arrested: 6/19

Charges: Burglary Unoccupied Dwelling (seven counts), Grand Theft (six counts), and Criminal Mischief (seven counts)

Here's a young lad who has "Hustle Hard" tattooed where his eyebrows should be, and he now faces 20 separate charges. Seems like someone was hustling a little too hard.

Arrested: 6/24

Charges: Grand Theft Third Degree

Dear Orange Is the New Black casting directors: We've found your villain for season three.

Arrested: 6/20

Charges: Battery and Consumption of Alcohol Close to a Store that Sells Alchohol

Imagine the difference this man could make if he donated his extra eyebrow hair to chongas who are so eyebrow-deprived they have to draw theirs on with Sharpies.

Arrested: 6/24

Charges: Disorderly Intoxication

If there's one thing worse than having a mugshot online forever, it's having a picture of you crying online forever, and this guy got a twofer. There's a reason we don't print people's names on here. We have some mercy.

Arrested: 6/23

Charges: Petit Theft

Another visit from our old friend Permanent Chin Pubes, except this time we're wondering what the hell is in the middle of his grand neck tattoo collage -- a piping-hot Styrofoam coffee cup?

Arrested: 6/22

Charges: Fleeing or Eluding an Officer and No Valid Driver's License

While we're on the subject of summer repeats: Oh, look, our other old friend Hello Kitty neck tattoo guy was arrested again. That's not very kawaii.

Arrested: 6/22

Charges: Cocaine Possession

This might be the worst week for Hello Kitty since the week when that Avril Lavigne video was released.

Arrested: 6/22

Charges: Aggravated Stalking and Written Threats

Someone with a New Jersey Devils neck tattoo punctuated with skulls has gotta be classy.

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Kyle Munzenrieder