Audio By Carbonatix
Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that series.
Arrested: 2/17
Charged with: Cocaine possession
If this beard intimidates you, turn back now. We have a whole lot of grizzled dudes this week.
Arrested: 2/16
Charged with: Fugitive, out-of state warrant
Told you. “Sometimes you eat the bar and sometimes the bar, well, eats you.”
Arrested: 2/16
Charged with: Cocaine possession
And this guy’s so naturally classy that he makes the cords on a hospital gown look like a bolo tie.
Arrested: 2/22
Charged with: Possession of controlled substance
Look at the clock. Now look into his eyes. Now look at the clock again. It’s hours later, isn’t it? Sorry about your morning.
Arrested: 2/22
Charged with: Battery on a law enforcement office, escape attempt, resisting officer
Dad? Are you still upset about that night ten years ago when I missed that field goal and then you walked in on me painting my toenails black?
Arrested: 2/15
Charged with: Battery
This guy’s perfect to segue us from the grizzled dudes, because he looks exactly like an indie version of Christopher from The Sopranos.
Arrested: 2/17
Charged with: Aggravated stalking, violation of a domestic violence injunction, battery
This guy made unwanted advances on somebody? P’shaw.
Arrested: 2/18
Charged with: Burglary, grand theft third degree, criminal mischief, dealing in stolen property, violation of pawnbroker law
Bet nobody’s ever told this guy he has an Hourglass Head.
Arrested: 2/21
Charged with: Consuming alcohol in a public place
This may be stating the obvious, but how great is alcohol? It even makes going to jail this fun.
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