This week, we a) teach you how to glare at the camera properly, b) bring back the leather jacket and ponytail, and c) make you Google Chester A. Arthur and then feel embarassed about it. God Bless this county and it's Annie Leibovitz-caliber police photographers.

Arrested: 12/09

Charged with: Possession of marijuana

There are a couple schools of thought on whether white guys should wear dreads. This dude dropped out of both those schools in 1962 to start his own bicycle shop and sell pounds of hash out the back.

Arrested: 12/12

Charged with: Battery, burglary, criminal mischief

What a perfect glare: Jaw clenched, chin down, hate-filled eyes up. This is what booking photographers call "making sweet love to the camera."

Arrested: 12/12

Charged with: Grand theft

Never mind, forget that amateur. This lady just impregnated the camera and then chomped its head off.

Arrested: 12/10

Charged with: Resisting an officer

Jeez, talk about trying too hard. Lazaro here looks so greased-up and slippery that if you try to grab hold of him, he'll squirt out of your hands and into another dimension where generic lounge music is always playing, he's doing contract hits from his motorcycle for Tony Soprano, and he looks totally cool.

Arrested: 12/09

Charged with: Intent to deliver marijuana, resisting an officer with violence, and carrying a concealed weapon.

Why do we get the feeling that in six years this kids going to have invented some intense social network computer platform thing we can't even imagine now and will be paying $5 million to destroy record of this arrest?

Arrested: 12/09

Charged with: Driving under the influence

This guy looks like he's been partying since 1999. Ask him what's in his Discman and he'll start to say Rob Thomas but will vomit on your shirt instead.

Arrested: 12/10

Charged with: Tampering, assault, resisting an officer

So Aging Gallagher here came into the booking room and none of the officers even looked up from their paperwork.

Arrested: 12/10

Charged with: Cocaine possession

But then this dude sauntered in with his Chester A. Arthur mustache and boomed: "Was THIS the look you were going for?" And all the cops erupted into spontaneous and lasting applause and then they "lost" the evidence against him.

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