- Local
- Community
- Journalism
Support the independent voice of Miami and help keep the future of New Times free.
This week, we a) teach you how to glare at the camera properly, b) bring back the leather jacket and ponytail, and c) make you Google Chester A. Arthur and then feel embarassed about it. God Bless this county and it's Annie Leibovitz-caliber police photographers.
Arrested: 12/09
Charged with: Possession of marijuana
There are a couple schools of thought on whether white guys should wear dreads. This dude dropped out of both those schools in 1962 to start his own bicycle shop and sell pounds of hash out the back.
Arrested: 12/12
Charged with: Battery, burglary, criminal mischief
What a perfect glare: Jaw clenched, chin down, hate-filled eyes up. This is what booking photographers call "making sweet love to the camera."
Arrested: 12/12
Charged with: Grand theft
Never mind, forget that amateur. This lady just impregnated the camera and then chomped its head off.
Arrested: 12/10
Charged with: Resisting an officer
Jeez, talk about trying too hard. Lazaro here looks so greased-up and slippery that if you try to grab hold of him, he'll squirt out of your hands and into another dimension where generic lounge music is always playing, he's doing contract hits from his motorcycle for Tony Soprano, and he looks totally cool.
Arrested: 12/09
Charged with: Intent to deliver marijuana, resisting an officer with violence, and carrying a concealed weapon.
Why do we get the feeling that in six years this kids going to have invented some intense social network computer platform thing we can't even imagine now and will be paying $5 million to destroy record of this arrest?
Arrested: 12/09
Charged with: Driving under the influence
This guy looks like he's been partying since 1999. Ask him what's in his Discman and he'll start to say Rob Thomas but will vomit on your shirt instead.
Arrested: 12/10
Charged with: Tampering, assault, resisting an officer
So Aging Gallagher here came into the booking room and none of the officers even looked up from their paperwork.
Arrested: 12/10
Charged with: Cocaine possession
But then this dude sauntered in with his Chester A. Arthur mustache and boomed: "Was THIS the look you were going for?" And all the cops erupted into spontaneous and lasting applause and then they "lost" the evidence against him.
Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes.
Keep Miami New Times Free... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.
