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Mugshots Friday: Fat White Guys With Neck Tattoos, a Touch of Class, and Ghetto Screech

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If you're not wearing an ascot while reading this week's Mugshots Friday, you're going to feel under dressed. Seriously: This was the week Miami-Dades arrestees got classy on that... assy?

Arrested: 12/02
Charged with: Battery with a deadly weapon
Quick, grab a Sharpie! Turn it into 805 and people will think he's from Santa Barbara.

Arrested: 12/04
Charged with: Strongarmed robbery
Dad? Talk about a midlife crisis...

Arrested: 12/02
Charged with: Loitering and consuming alcohol in public
Not only does this guy look like he'd be a hoot antique shopping, and he's rocking a shirt covered in cigars, but his first name is-- we shit you not-- Genius. We don't get many Geniuses on Mugshots Friday.

Arrested: 12/06
Charged with: Consuming alcohol in public
Then this dude looks like a Rembrandt.

Arrested: 12/06
Charged with: Burglary with assault or battery
And here's our first-ever turtleneck. Truly, a classy week in the Miami-Dade jails.

Arrested: 12/04
Charged with: Resisting an officer
Scratch that. What's up with burly white guys get half-assed this-is-where-I-born tattoos on their necks?

Arrested: 12/04
Charged with: Possession of marijuana
Zoiks, yo! It's Screech gone gangsta.

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Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.