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Every other Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous two weeks (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that series.
Arrested: 8/05
Charges: Carrying a Concealed Firearm
So this is what Bart Simpson hair looks like in real life.
Arrested: 8/03
Charges: Controlled Substance and Paraphernalia Possession
You know when someone stays a little too long after the party has ended? For her it’s been about 15 years too long.
Arrested: 7/31, 7/22, and 7/01
Heroin Possession With Intent to Sell, Resisting an Officer, and Cocaine and Paraphernalia Possession
She did what LeBron will never do — threepeated in Miami, and it took her only a month.
Arrested: 8/02
Charges: Driving With a Suspended License and Providing a False ID
Sometimes trying to grow your remaining hair only draws more attention to how bald you actually are.
Arrested: 7/30
Charges: Burglary of an Unoccupied Dwelling
She seems pretty normal until you notice she’s part cheetah.
Arrested: 7/30
Chages: Burglary of an Unoccupied Dwelling, Grand Theft Third Degree, Criminal Mischief, and Driving With a Suspended License
This guy’s name is not Moe.
Arrested: 8/05
Charges: Unlawful Use of a Dairy Case
At first we got caught up in the fact that this gentlemen seems to use Elmer’s glue as a hairstyling product, but then we got lost in thinking about how in hell someone gets not only caught but also arrested and carted to jail for using a dairy case illegally.
Arrested: 8/05
Charges: Cannabis Trafficking and Child Neglect
It’s August in Miami. A thick black turtleneck? The hell?
Arrested: 8/01
Charges: Petty Theft
Is there some sort of illustrated kids’ book that helps them deal with what happens when abuela gets arrested?
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