More Bella in Bikinis

Most pageants feel more like beauty trapped than beauty displayed. It's the forced attempts at natural-looking smiles, the teased but tamed hair and the lukewarm talents honed to fit to the whitebread tastes of judges and television viewers in Kansas.

Tonight's Miss Bellanita (bella y llenita) 2008 has potential to be loads better. Billed as a search for Miami's most voluptuous woman, La Kalle's 98.3 FM jockeys, Enrique Santos and Joe Ferrero, will host the pageant. Univision radio and television personalities will judge and salsa band DLG will headline.

A winner will be crowned from fifteen finalists between 18 and 25 years old, who weigh at least 200 pounds. They'll compete in swimsuits, evening gowns and a question-and-answer session.

Let's just hope they respect the curves and steer clear of too many trite chubby jokes. The show starts at 9 p.m. downtown at Bongos Cuban Café, 601 Biscayne Boulevard.

- Janine Zeitlin

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Janine Zeitlin