Last week was a busy one for Taser-toting police officers in South Florida. First, Key West cops used their stun guns on a local luminary armed with a ninja sword and a baseball bat who was ranting about a dude who owed him $160. Then, our sister paper in Broward reported that Hollywood cops, cowering on the top of their squad car, unleashed electrical hell on a pit bull.
Both are bizarre cases, but we've seen weirder. These days, getting tased is the new getting touched by Michael Jackson -- everyone's doing it. Even animals. Here's our unofficial compendium of strange creatures who have encountered the wrath of doughnut-eaters armed with 50,000 volts.
Pigs: Kind of ironic, when you think about who's usually pulling the trigger. The Air Force tested Tasers on 11 pigs, resulting in very graphic video, which is especially stomach-turning to
pigs animal rights activists taxpayers who thought the Air Force was spending its money on, like, planes and stuff.
Sheep on meth: Or as a British paper put it: "Herd of sheep, off tits on drugs, savagely tased."
All types of animals in Alaska: A wildlife technician stunned a moose mom that wouldn't let him near its trapped calves. Then, this past July, an off-duty Anchorage cop zapped a black bear after he discovered it chowing down from the salmon cooker in his back yard. Now park rangers are considering the Taser as an effective way to control wildlife -- and, just maybe, Sarah Palin.
A Phillies fan: By far the most vile creature on this list. Who can argue with the Philadelphia cop who tased a drunk dude who ran on the field earlier this year? ACLU, put that hand down.
An elk: Last year, a Linn County, Oregon sheriff's deputy used his stun gun on en elk for a full 25 seconds while a state trooper freed its antlers from a fence. The alternative was killing the animal, but the elk still bitched about it on Facebook.
A police officer with a beautiful voice:
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Grandmas: Video of a Travis County, Texas traffic stop last year shows a constable tasing the hell out of a 72-year-old nana:
And this past June, ten Oklahoma officers jolted a sickly 86-year-old woman after "she took an aggressive posture in her bed." No joke. As they stunned her, a grandson yelled, "Don't tase my granny!"