Photo by Nisian Hughes/Getty Images
Audio By Carbonatix
When a Redditor asked ChatGPT to roast Miami earlier this week, the AI came out swinging, burning the Magic City harder than the blazing sun over a bikini-clad model falling asleep on South Beach.
About an hour later, a fellow Redditor flipped the script, asking AI to say something beautiful and true about Miami. The resulting posts couldn’t be more opposite: One brutally roasts the city for its incessant traffic, unrepaired potholes, and rented opulence, while the other renders a poetic paean to Miami’s chaotic charm.
The bad – and the just plain ugly – comes first, but rest assured: By the end of this story, the good will shine through like the neon glow that comes over Biscayne Bay after dark.
The Roast: Brutal But on Point
The burn (embedded above) begins with ChatGPT summing up Miami as a place “where the weather is hotter than the traffic arguments, but not as humid as the tourists’ desperation to find parking.” And really, is there a better time to roast Miami’s traffic than during Art Basel, when gridlock turns the city into a parking lot from Wynwood to South Beach?
It doesn’t stop there. The AI doubles down, mocking the city’s indecision over its identity: “It’s a city that can’t decide if it wants to be South America, a cruise ship terminal, or a music video set.”
ChatGPT isn’t shy about Miami’s pothole-ridden streets and nightlife: “The skyline screams luxury, but drive a block away, and you’re dodging potholes big enough to swallow a Vespa. And let’s talk about nightlife – half the people in the club have rented their outfits, their cars, and probably their personalities.”
Finally, it closes with a biting jab at Miami’s duality: “It’s the only place where you can spot a millionaire and someone who just spent their last $200 on bottle service at the same table – and they’re both arguing over whose boat is docked closer.”
Redditors have a lot to say. One user calls It “so fucking hilarious,” while another admits, “Holy, we’re cooked.” And the final burn is the winner for one user who says, “The last roast is the best lmao.”
Another Redditor touches on the city’s ostentation: “Facts, especially about the rented cars, everybody wants to be rich in Miami, but they are not.”
The Praise: A Poetic Love Letter
About an hour after the roast post went live, a second Redditor gives ChatGPT a shot at redeeming Miami by asking it to say something beautiful and true about Vice City (see embed below).
The AI dutifully shifts gears, waxing poetic about the city’s unique energy: “Miami is a city that never quite lets you catch your breath, and maybe that’s the point. It’s the heavy heat that clings to your skin, the salt in the air that reminds you the ocean is always close, and the energy that pulses through every street like it’s daring you to keep up.”
ChatGPT describes Miami as “alive in a way that’s chaotic and beautiful – cars honking, music spilling out of windows, voices switching from Spanish to English to Creole without missing a beat.” It also captures the city’s contradictions: “Old men playing dominoes in Little Havana while sleek sports cars glide down Brickell. The pastel art deco buildings stand like postcards from a slower time, even as new towers rise, glassy and unrelenting.”
The comments thread, too, is more reflective, with one user writing, “This is Miami! Mi ciudad querida,” and another putting in, “This sounds like the intro to any TV show, movie, or video game about the 305. DALE!”
I asked ChatGPT to say something beautiful and true about Miami
byu/testimonypeach inMiami
Miami: Flawed, Fabulous, and Full of Life
From the ugly truth of potholes and traffic to the beautiful chaos of its culture, Miami proves itself to be a city that’s impossible to define in simple terms. Whether roasted or revered, the Magic City inspires passionate responses from Redditors and ChatGPT alike.
In a place where contradictions reign supreme, it’s no surprise Miami can take a roast, turn it into a celebration, and leave the rest of the world wishing they could join the party. After all, even when our city’s flaws are on full display, we know full well there’s nowhere else quite like it.
