No one has any pretensions that Miami is an intellectual hotbed, but are we dumb? Like so dumb when someone is drowning and asks for a lifesaver we ask, "Cherry or grape?" Like so dumb when someone says they're "pushing weight" we think they've got dumbbells in a stroller? Like so dumb we trip on a cordless phone? Get hit by a parked car? Steal free samples? So dumb that we laughed at any of those jokes?
No, but seriously, The Daily Beast says we're dumb as hell.
The Daily Beast is back with yet another statistically flawed but sort of interesting cities list, and we are dumb enough to keep linking to them.
This time it's their second annual "America's Smartest (and Dumbest) Cities."
Last year, Miami was sitting on the low side at number 39. This year we fell even further to number 47. The Daily Beast only ranks the country's 55 biggest metros, so that means that Miami is the ninth dumbest metro in the country. Here's the stats they used to break it down:
Daily Beast IQ Score: 61.65
2009 rank: 39
Metropolitan area population: 5,547,051
Bachelor's degrees: 18%
Graduate degrees: 10%
Year-to-date adult nonfiction booksales: 2,642,000
To quote noted philosopher Meatwad, "You should just give in and realize that we is dumb, dumb as hell."
The good news for us, and the bad news for the state's education department, is that we're not even the dumbest Florida city on the list. Tampa Bay (#49) and Orlando (#50) rank a little bit lower.
Not as low as Las Vegas either, which is now America's dumbest city. The smartest city? Boston. Now ain't that a wicked pissa -- or whatever unintelligible gibberish that brain trust passes off as English.
Keep Miami New Times Free... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.