Miami Marlins Are Finally Telling the Truth About Their Hilariously Tiny Crowds

The Miami Marlins are just awful. They're worse than Devin Nunes, Mark Zuckerberg, and the Pharma Bro. They probably won't challenge the famed 1899 Cleveland Spiders for worst-ever MLB record, but no one would really be shocked if they did!

So it's not a huge surprise the team has been making national headlines already for drawing crowds to Little Havana that would embarrass a Triple-A franchise. Monday night, the Fish's announced paid attendance of 7,003 was the worst in a decade for an MLB team that wasn't making up a hurricane-canceled start or playing in a Little League stadium.

That record lasted exactly one day. Last night, the team announced that only 6,516 brave souls had paid U.S. currency to pass through the gates to watch the team lose yet again to the New York Mets.

Those are very, very bad attendance numbers. But are there really fewer people paying to watch the team now than during the worst doldrums of Jeffrey Loria's reign of terror over Marlins Park?

Probably not. Among the many, many ways Loria lied to South Florida during his years running the team was by consistently inflating his attendance figures. And this year, to his credit, Derek Jeter's regime has decided to cut the B.S.

Before the season began, the Marlins said they'd announce only actual tickets sold when releasing attendance figures. That might seem like the only way to really count attendance. But Loria's front office routinely spiked those numbers by almost double.

Consider last season's stats: The Fish finished with the fourth worst attendance last year with 1.6 million fans heading to Marlins Park; that averages out to 20,395 fans at every game. Did you go to Marlins Park last year? There is exactly zero chance that 20,000 people walked through the gates at most games.

The dishonestly was almost hilarious. Last May, only 1,590 people showed up for a Marlins-Phillies tilt in an afternoon game. The stands were emptier than Trump's promises to Iowa farmers. Yet the Loria front office said 15,197 fans showed up.

To find a non-Pravda worthy report on how many fans actually went to Marlins Park last year, consider another figure: the number of tickets the team sold. According to the Miami Herald, that number was only 820,000 last season — by far the worst number in MLB.

So, by all means, point and laugh at the Jeter Marlins for getting Triple-A crowds for their Triple-A-worthy roster. That's exactly the level of support the team deserves at this point.

But at least give Jeter credit for telling the truth about how indifferent Miami really is to the Fish right now.