Miami Man Claims to Have Invented the iPod, but Sarah Jessica Parker Screwed Him Over

Franz A. Wakefield, a Miami resident, claims that he not only came up with the idea and names of Apple's entire iPod, iTunes, and iPhone line, but that actress Sarah Jessica Parker totally screwed him over in the deal. 

Wakefield claims he won a 17th Congressional District Arts Competition in 1989, and was honored by former Congressman William Lehman, Robert Downey Jr., and Sarah Jessica Parker, but according to Wakefield, Lehman asked him to disclose "trade secrets" to the FBI about his ideas from the iPod line. 

Wakefield says he then struck up a friendship with SJP and made a deal with her in which she would act as the intermediary between him and Steve Jobs at Apple, but for some reason (this reason is most likely "reality"), that important business meeting between Jobs and Parker never went down. 

Now Wakefield is suing Parker and Apple demanding payment for his inventions. Riptide apologizes if none of this makes sense to you, as we can barely comprehend it ourselves. In other Mac-Miami weird news, another Miami man is suing Apple and Lil' Wayne for using his voice on a recording without his permission. This all makes Apple's other legal battle with another Miami entity, Pystar, seem downright sane. 

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Kyle Munzenrieder