Miami Lawyer Sues San Antonio Spurs For Resting Star Players On Nov. 29

Despite winning it all last year (suck it Thunder), doubts remain about the Miami Heat. The team has lost three of its last four games, Dwayne Wade is currently cranky about playing time, and our most devoted fans remain of the blow-job-giving variety.

On top of all that, a local lawyer is now suing the San Antonio Spurs for not fielding its best team in a game against the Heat on November 29 -- a game we barely won anyway. The class action lawsuit -- which is packed with references to our "premium ticket prices" -- is certainly not going to help our reputation as rich, shallow, and unappreciative fans.

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The lawyer behind the suit is none other than Larry McGuinness, an attorney with a penchant for suing Miami restaurants. We once wrote a feature about a client of his, Eddie Santana, who went on a legal spree suing more than 30 eateries.

In his suit, McGuiness says the Spurs violated Florida's deceptive and fair trade practices law by "intentionally and surreptitiously sending their best players and/or starters (i.e., Tim Duncan, Tony Parker, Manu Ginobli and Danny Green) home before the Spurs played the Miami Heat."

At the time, Spurs coach Gregg Popovich said his players needed some rest.

"You're advertised to get one thing, and you get something totally different and that's the nature of the lawsuit," McGuinness told CBS4 News.

As ridiculous as the suit sounds, it could have a shot thanks to David Stern apologizing to fans for Popovich's decision. The NBA later fined the team $250,000.

Of course McGuinness, the restaurant lawyer, couldn't help explain his suit in those terms.

"You go to Morton's, you go to Delmonicos, you order that porterhouse steak and pay $63 bucks for it and out comes a cube steak," he told CBS4. "You're not getting what you thought you were going to get."

Dude. We won the game by just five points. That is a good game, superstar opponents or not. Are we so spoiled that we sue over shit like this now?

The fault, dear Larry, lies not in the Spurs, but in ourselves.

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Michael E. Miller was a staff writer at Miami New Times for five years. His work for New Times won many national awards, including back-to-back-to-back Sigma Delta Chi medallions. He now covers local enterprise for the Washington Post.