| Sports |

Miami Dolphins Win: Foes Vanquished, Obnoxious Fan Base Silenced, Everything's Beautiful!

Keep New Times Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Miami and help keep the future of New Times free.

The Miami Dolphins coaching staff must be avid readers of Riptide. Because they pretty much ran down the checklist of our three keys for a Dolphins victory post and came out on top with a thrilling, last-second 31-27 victory over the Jets on Monday Night Football. You're welcome, everybody!

It was almost as if they shouldn't even have bothered playing the game. Every analyst, talking head, and oddsmaker swore Rex Ryan and the Jets' vaunted Oh-My-God-My-Face-Done-Got-Melted! defense was going to stuff hot coals down the Dolphins' pants, go have themselves a ham sandwich, and call it a night. The Jets had the kryptonite to stop the Wildcat, they said. Poor Miami's gonna have to rely on Chad Henne to win it, they said. The odds are just stacked against them, they said.

They were right.

But the Fins overcame those odds, and much more. They overcame two fake

punts. They overcame terrible calls by the officials. They overcame

ESPN color man Ron Jaworski's constant disparaging of the Wildcat

(though it was tough for him to speak coherently, what with Jets QB

Mark Sanchez's balls in his mouth and all). And, yes, they overcame

that scary Jets defense.

You had Ronnie Brown and Ricky Williams showing the world why they are

such a ballstastic duo, running for a combined 142 yards and two touchdowns. You had Ted Ginn Jr. (no, really, TED! FRIGGIN! GINN! JR!)

outrunning the Jets' secondary for an amazing 53-yard touchdown pass

from Henne. And you had the defense bending, but not breaking, when it

counted the most.

But the story of the night had to be Chad Henne's coming-out party.

Faced with a 27-24 deficit with only 5:12 remaining in regulation,

past Dolphins teams would try to milk the clock, get into field goal

range, try to tie the game, and just let the chips fall where they may

in overtime. Their slogan was "We Have No Balls and It Shows!" But The

Robot Chad Henne said, "Not on my watch, command, control, .exe" and

proceeded to lead the Dolphins on a brilliantly executed 13-play, 70-yard drive that culminated in -- what else? -- a Ronnie Brown-Wildcat

touchdown with six seconds left.

Kryptonite-proof, rust-proof. Game, set, and match.

Henne finished the night 20-for-24 for 241 yards and two touchdowns. And

while all the pre-game talk was about how much poise Mark Sanchez had

to go along with his pretty face, in the end, it was Henne who displayed not only poise but also a laser-rocket arm to go with that

poise. Laser-rocket arm will always trump a pretty face. Every time.

Suck on that, Ron Jaworski! Suck on that, Rex Ryan! Suck on that, Jets!

Keep Miami New Times Free... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.