Flotsam

Miami Dolphins Literally Slaughtered on South Park

Last night, likenesses of your Miami Dolphins were literally slaughtered on South Park, which was a lot more enjoyable than watching them get figuratively slaughtered on the field most Sundays. We just pretended every player was Ted Ginn Jr., and it was rather cathartic.

For some context: In last night's episode, poor Stan's birthday present of getting to swim with dolphins was ruined when a group of Japanese stereotypes came up and slaughtered all the dolphins, because as you may know, all Japanese people hate whales and dolphins. Naturally, they rush the field at LandShark and deliver a surprise beatdown to the Fins worse than the one from the Saints. It ends with a "Fahk you, dawpheen!" -- just a heads-up if you hear opposing teams' fans shouting it from now on.

The episode began parodying Whale Wars, a show I have never seen, and I kind of didn't know what was going on, but then Cartman started singing Lady Gaga's "Poker Face" and I cried tears of joy.

See a clip of the Dolphins' slaughter after the jump. Or you can watch the full episode online here.

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Kyle Munzenrieder