Miami Company to Produce $189,000 Bracelet That Ensures Entry to World's Best Clubs

Hey there, shopper, do you have a spare $189,000? Do you love clubbing at the world's most exclusive places? Have you ever seen a Ferrari glide by and thought, Nice car. When will someone design a bracelet that looks like that?

Funny you should ask. It just happened.

Miami's Cristophe & Co. has partnered with Ferrari's designer, Pinifarina, to create such a bracelet. For about what it costs to buy a two-bedroom house in Miami, this Ferarri-shaped band can guide its wearer to the toniest clubs around the globe. It's a monument to being rich and loving it, and trumpets a bevy of gadgets and gizmos.

"At a time when success and resulting affluence is vilified," founder Aleksandr Bernhard said in a statement, "we combat this notion by creating a trophy for those who have stopped at nothing to achieve their dreams and have emerged victories [sic]."

Take note: Plebeians need not apply. The $200,000 bracelet will scan its owner into clubs like the Monte Carlo Beach Club in Abu Dhabi and the Kee Club in Hong Kong. Once ensconced in the VIP section, the wearer will merely have to press a button on the bracelet to order a drink. The bracelets, which might be available for pre-order this summer if the company raises enough money to begin production, will glimmer with gems.

There will also be a mobile app to summon, if such a need arises, a "dedicated lifestyle manager," who will assist the wearer with his or her legion of rich-person problems.

The immense expense of the device, which is powered by the kinetic energy of its wearer's movements, will confer an exclusivity to the product and affirm its owner's sense of superiority, Bernhard told

But as exciting as all of this may be for exactly .000000001 percent of you, founder Bernhard wants to keep things hush-hush. "Since Miami is such an important market for us, we want to make sure to put our best foot forward and will hold off on media contact until we can disclose more detailed information," a spokesperson said.

Indeed, the only comment given was to correct an error this reporter made by calling the product a "wristwatch."

"It's actually," New Times was told, "a type of cuff bracelet called an 'Armill.'"

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Terrence McCoy