Oh, those poor young Miami Republicans with dreams of D.C. Unless they launch a long-shot Senate campaign against a popular governor, they'll have to wait for Ileana Ros-Lehtinen and the Diaz-Balarts to decide they've had enough of doing whatever it is they do with their congressional seats. (Seriously, what is it they do besides make a speech about Castro every once in a while and vote for "government waste"?)
If elected, let's hope he will work swiftly to make sure people die quickly, and that bacon is banned once and for all.
Keep Miami New Times Free... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.