Miami Beats Williamsburg to Hot New Trend: Condo Busts

Riptide has maybe one too many friends and acquaintances who call Williamsburg, the painfully trendy Brooklyn enclave commonly seen as ground zero for everything hipster, home. At the end of the day, we love them, but sometimes they talk with such jaded snootiness it recalls Brüno minus the affected Austrian accent. 
“Hey, have you heard that new Grizzly Bear album?” 
— “Yeah, dude. I’m, like, bros with them. We had drinks last night — no big deal. Whatever.” 
“I think I’m going to some dubstep party tonight.”
— “Oh, that’s cute. I was, like, really into dubstep two years ago, but it’s, like, so tired now. Y’know?”
“I just bought this Band of Outsiders shirt online. It might be too expensive.” 
— “Spring 2006, all I wore was Band of Outsiders, but I just dropped all that shit off at the thrift store. That’s cool you wear it now, but, like, personally, it’s just not my thing anymore.” 
Well, fuck you, Billyburg, we’ve finally beaten you to a trend, according to New York magazine: “Now, littered with half-built shells of a vanished boom, Williamsburg is looking like something else entirely: Miami.” 
If you have no idea what this post means, you are probably of sound mind, but just know that “Miami” is now a keyword for “sad, failed overdevelopment” in the national press.