Are you a member of the media? Do you care about Justin Bieber? Of course you do. Silly question.
That's where I, Miami Beach Commissioner Michael Grieco, come in. Not only am I a former state prosecutor and defense attorney -- but I'm also available for comment. Right now. Call me. I know I told you last time that I'd only ask once. I was wrong. Whatevs. But, really, last time I'm asking: Let's talk Bieber. (Please.)
--XOXO Michael Grieco
Local politician Michael Grieco really wants to talk about Justin Bieber, and of all the oddities and farce the Bieber bamboozle has spawned, this represents one of the most hilarious and vaguely pathetic. Miami New Times and probably every other media outlet out there has received three -- three -- requests pleading for us to interview Grieco about a situation he has only a tangential relationship with.
Mikey, this isn't the "green room." We're not producing MSNBC's Morning Joe, assembling a cast of of bloviating flacks to give "their take" on something that, in reality, has nothing to do with them.
But wait! Sycophant Grieco does have something to do Justin Bieber, he claims. "When Justin was arrested earlier this month in Miami Beach," one of Flack Grieco's flacks wrote New Times in a note, "Mr. Grieco was one of the first attorneys to get a call about the case from Bieber's management."
Whoa. Now hold on for just two seconds. Did Greics just say he was one of the first?
Hang on to your hat for this one.
At that point, Grieco thought he was Justin Bieber's attorney. He sent us a breathless message, saying that, yes, though it may be too good to believe, he was available for comment. When the realization he wasn't representing Bieber dawned on him, Team Grieco dispatched one more note.
Writes Flack Grieco's flack:
I recently sent you email about celebrity criminal defense attorney Michael Grieco who is in Miami Beach and available for legal commentary. While following the breaking news information, we mistakenly noted that Mr. Grieco was working with Justin Bieber's attorney Roy Black. We want to make it clear that Mr. Grieco is not working with Mr. Black on the case. Please excuse our error.
To prove he means business Griecs sent over the his press kit to convey the full breadth of his experience, charisma, and ability to look good while unfurling platitudes on camera. For today's chuckle, click here.
It hails him thusly:
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SHOW ME HOW
Thanks, Grieco, but I think we'll pass.