MIA Customs Officials Keep Us Safe From Teddy Bear Threat

Their eyes were watching eyes. U.S. Customs and Border Protection at Miami International Airport noticed that the glass eyes on a shipment of teddy bears from China were poorly secured, and could be a choking hazard to small children. They sent the bears off for further testing, and indeed they were in violation of the Federal Hazardous Substance Act. The entire shipment of 244 bears were seized. 

Under the Bush administration these poor bears would have been classified as enemy combatants and flown to Guantanamo Bay, where they would be forced to spend the rest of their snugly days behind bars. But in the just new era of Obama, we hope these bears get the fair trial they deserve. They're not bad, they were just constructed by severely underpaid Chinese laborers that way. 

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