Marlins Owner Jeffrey Loria Went to Jared for Hanley Ramirez

Last year, Marlins shortstop Hanley Ramirez won the National League batting title, so this past Saturday, team owner Jeffrey Loria gave him a pendant spelling out his batting average -- .342 -- in 394 diamonds, with a big teal diamond for the decimal point. Hanley then nearly choked on a chocolate-dipped strawberry as he ran circles around their picnic blanket, squealing and preening.

Five thousand fans will win a cubic zirconia version of the pendant during the Marlins' home opener April 9. Although we do want one, it seems a little strange to walk around with a blinged-out homage to somebody else's accomplishment, so if anybody asks, ".342" represents something we did -- like, say, our BAC on our 18th birthday.

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Gus Garcia-Roberts