Magic City Kitty - Balls, Shaved or No?

Hello, Kitty

My girl complains about my body hair, saying that I need to wax and/or shave my chest and pubic area - but the vision of Steve Carell getting waxed in that movie has me thinking that it’s not worth the pain. My hairy bod has never bothered me, but my girl seems to be royally disgusted by it. Can you suggest a way to help her appreciate my unique trait?

Saz Kwatch

Hey, Saz

I can’t give you any ways to change your girl – everyone has their pet peeves and for some reason or another, your furry ass is one of hers. Maybe she has gorillaphobia or was traumatized by a hairball related incident, either way you don’t want the person you’re shagging (pun intended) to be “royally disgusted” by anything other than the raunchy sex positions you suggest after a couple of caprihinias. Relationships are about compromise, though, and I’m thinking that either she needs to live with the fact that you’re hairy or you need to de-fuzz yourself, and quick. Personally, I despise taco meat, sawgrass, Christmas tinsel and everything else that men magically sprout on their bods. The only thing I want to see running up and down a man’s chest is my tongue or a piece of tumbleweed cause it’s so damn bare.

On the other hand, some women like a little chest-bush, which is why that old adage about there being someone for everyone, is true. Just as easily as you found this girl, you can find one that enjoys a lil’ something to grab onto. I can’t stress enough that you should be yourself in any relationship, and any compromises that you do make, be prepared to stick with them for a while. Dealing with a bitter mate (i.e. a bald you) can be a mothafucka, so don’t let the body-wool go unless it’s a decision you can live with. And if you do decide to go for it, try using a depilatory cream (e-mail me for a good name brand, no free ads from me), that way you’ll avoid both the pain of waxing and the shame of shaving your chest in the gym locker room.

Got a question? Email the Magic City Kitty.

KEEP MIAMI NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Raina McLeod
Contact: Raina McLeod