LeBron James Wrecked the Pacers After Lance Stephenson Talked Trash About Him

Don't start none, won't be none. Lance Stephenson, you picked the wrong dude, bruh.

LeBron James farted thunder and shit lightning all Memorial Day long on his way to a 32-point, ten-rebound, five-assist night that was full of King Cobra hissssssss and the perfect rebuke to Stephenson's talk before the game that LeBron's on-court chatter was a "sign of weakness." When LeBron is playing like this, there is no antivenin; you just go night-night. You should've let sleeping Cobras lie, Lance.

The Heat's 102-90 win leaves the team just one win shy of its fourth straight NBA finals. There were no signs of weaknesses this night from LeBron James -- just blood, so much Indiana Pacers blood on his hands. We are all weaknesses.

Detective Lance Stephenson Body Language McGee managed just a single free throw until late in the fourth quarter and finished with nine points. I'd love to say he was the Pacers' weakness this night -- it would fit nicely here -- but he plays with the waste receptacle known as Roy Hibbert, who scored as many points as your mom.

LeBron had himself a plethora all colors, shapes, and sizes of flying death machine moments, each pinching off a piece of the Pacers' soul and punting it into the Everglades in its own special way. Fall-away threes, coast-to-coast dunks, twisting corkscrew slams, whatever flavor you're in the mood for, LeBron had himself a Baskin-Robbins game, so you're good.




The Heat takes a commanding 3-1 series lead back to Indiana, where Miami will look to end all of this nonsense and get back into the series that ends in a parade and double-decker buses. Only eight teams in the history of the NBA have ever come back from a 3-1 deficit, one of them being the Miami Heat in 1997 when the team came back to beat the New York Knicks.

Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.