Audio By Carbonatix
Shhhhhhhhhh, you hear that? That’s the sound of all the LeBron James cramp memes being deleted from all the Twitter accounts. If you put your ear to your computer screen, you can actually hear the little Instagram heart likes breaking into a thousand pieces and falling to the floor. Welcome to the real version of “LeBroning.” Favorite it, retweet it, Vine it, like it, Pinterest it, put it in your MySpace Top 8, whatever you’re into, America, all the kids are doing it.
James moved the Miami Heat three wins from a three-peat with a dominating 35-point, ten-rebound performance Sunday night, a predictably all-time answer to critics of the best player in the world. The 98-96 win steals home court from the Spurs heading into Tuesday night’s game three, completely changing the series as it shifts back to Miami. Oh, I think my face is cramping from all these smiles. I’ll call it “LOLOLOLOLing.”
Amazingly, Bob’s Air Conditioning was able to fix the cooling system before tip Sunday. And before tip, I mean before a concert held there the night after game one and the WNBA game held in the arena Saturday. How weird that is! Thanks, Bob!
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The temperature at tip was a cool 68 degrees, compared to Friday’s game, when it hit 90 degrees at times. With the conditions less than Qatar World Cup level, LeBron was able to play mostly his normal allotment of minutes, taking slightly more rest at points in the game than usual. Overall, he played 38 minutes, right at his average on the season.
During the game, it was clear LeBron was drinking Powerade, which sponsors him, a change from last game, when he was clearly drinking the NBA-sponsored Gatorade. Gatorade had mad shit to talk during the cramp game, apparently not noticing it was its product he was drinking. After last night’s game, Powerade unzipped its pants and dropped this dong tweet out its boxer briefs.
Oh shit, son, beverage wars — someone call A&E! Powerade just lemon-lime tweet-pissed all over Gatorade! OH MY GOD, All-Sport is running down the hallway with a steel chair!
So to recap, did the Spurs win?
NOPE!
The NBA Finals return Tuesday at 9 p.m. with game three at AmericanAirlines Arena.
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