Jeb Bush's New Stance on Gay Marriage: It Hurts His Head Thinking About It

It's pretty clear that gay marriage is not Jeb Bush's favorite issue to talk about on the campaign trail. He opposes it, but exactly how much he opposes it has been up for debate. He's said that it's a decision that should be left up to states, and that if it becomes legal, then the law should be respected. However, in an interview with the Christian Broadcasting Network's David Brody that aired yesterday, Bush ratcheted up his opposition to same-sex marriage in what the New York Times describes as a "tougher stance."

But it appears that the reason Bush's stance on the issue seems to change and often is unclear is because it hurts his precious little head to think about. Bless him. 

"I think traditional marriage is a sacrament ...To imagine how we are going to succeed in our country unless we have committed family life, committed child-centered family system is hard to imagine," Bush told Brody. "So, irrespective of the Supreme Court ruling because they are going to decide whatever they decide, I don’t know what they are going to do, we need to be stalwart supporters of traditional marriage.”

Hmmm, to imagine things is hard to imagine for Bush. It's no wonder he can't even take a guess as to how the Supreme Court will decide on multiple gay marriage cases next month. 

Brody then asked Bush if he thinks same-sex couples have a constitutional right to get married. 

“I don’t, but I’m not a lawyer and clearly this has been accelerated at a warp pace," he said. "What’s interesting is four years ago Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton had the same view that I just expressed to you. It’s thousands of years of culture and history is just being changed at warps speed. It’s hard to fathom why it is this way.”

Bush apparently seems completely baffled by rapid change. Sure, since his father left the White House in '92 the world has completely changed. We're all walking around with lil' phone super-computers in our pockets, America and Cuba are normalizing relations and the guy who played Spicoli is a multiple Oscar winner, but apparently the thought that people could rapidly become supportive of the idea of the government recognizing a committed relationship between two people of the same sex is just completely beyond Bush's imagination. 

It's just hard to fathom why people might want to wash away "thousands of years of culture and history" of oppression, bigotry, and ignorance and realize that, hey, two dudes or two chicks getting married really isn't hurting anyone. 

So some may see this as a new "tougher stance," but it seems to us that Bush's changing stance on the issue really can be explain by one constant per his own admission: he just doesn't have the brainpower to even understand the issue.
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Kyle Munzenrieder