Politics

Jeb Bush's Merchandise Is Looking Very Urban Outfitters

Ten years after we reached peak hipster, mainstream political candidates are finally getting in on all of those supertrendy fashions. Miami's Jeb Bush seems to be leading the way on the Republican side. In fact, the candidate recently unleashed some new merch that wouldn't seem out of place on the racks at Urban Outfitters. 

Let's take a look. 

First, we have the "vintage tank," a white tank with an image of a young Jebbers and his name printed in a minimalist font. Apparently, he's trying to jump on the "so-and-so was actually kind of a stud back in the day" trend among politicians, but, sorry, Bush is no Joe Biden. Good use of selective angles, though.

Bush lose points for offering this shirt only in women's cut, though. Hasn't he been to a frat house lately? Young Republican bros love their tank tops. Suns out, guns out, bro.

Then there's this vintage-print tee. However, there's no similar tee dedicated to Jeb's brother.

For $35, you can also get a Jeb snapback/hashtag hat. The fact that a sticker comes on the brim really shows Jeb is in tune with today's youth fashions.

You can also get a, you know, actually kind of nicely designed beach towel. 

It's not just your closet Jeb has taken care of. He's got your kitchen in mind, too.


Yes, a $75 bowl. It doesn't even have special Jeb! branding or a secret recipe.

Still, this whole effort is a surprisingly "hip" merch plan for a Republican candidate, and if you don't think so, well, check out the golf-dad-style merchandise Marco Rubio is hawking. 


Sadly, Bush doesn't quite out-hipster ol' Hipsterly Clinton. She's selling ironic "everyday pantsuit" print t-shirts and a beer koozie that says "Chillary Clinton."
KEEP MIAMI NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Kyle Munzenrieder