| Sports |

It's The End of the World As We Know It!: Cavs Stun Heat

Keep New Times Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Miami and help keep the future of New Times free.

It's Christmas morning for the Heat Haters Dick Biters Brigade! Because the lowly 15-58 Cleveland Cavaliers took down and exacted revenge on LeBron James and the Miami Heat last night in a 102-90 win.

The Heat were outplayed and out hustled on both ends of the floor. And even though they eventually erased a 23-point deficit, Miami could never get their bearings. So apparently, just showing up to the arena isn't enough. You also have to play a little defense and, you know, give a crap too. 

James scored a triple-double against his ex-team going 10-for-21 with 27 points, 10 rebounds and 12 assists. Mike Bibby knocked down seven three-pointers, and Dwyane Wade, who had a rough start to the game, finished with 24.

Chris Bosh, on the other hand, had a night that can only be described as dinosaur shit

Bosh finished with 10 points on a measly 5-of-14 shooting and was manhandled all night by Ryan Hollins. Chris Bosh has been accused of being soft by many this season. And no doubt he's had more stronger performances that weaker ones with Miami. But when you play the post like you're made of peanut brittle against the worst team in the NBA, you're not going to be silencing the critics any time soon.

The Cavs shot a season-high 56 percent from the floor, with Anthony Parker going 4-for-4 from the three point line. Baron Davis who, for some reason, always decides to put down the sandwich and play hard against the Heat, added 10 points of his own.

At one point, the Heat, clearly playing in are the playoffs here yet? mode, allowed Cleveland to break out an 18-point tear putting Miami in a 71-48 hole. But the Heat answered with a 19-1 run of their own, and eventually tied things up at 83. But the lack of an inside game (and, you know, defense) eventually caught up with Miami, and Cleveland pulled away for good. The Cavs won. Their fans went apeshit. And the Heat Hating Dick Biters Brigade will no doubt crawl out of the hole they've been living in since the All Star break and will be out in full force. Sports talk radio and ESPN is sure to be a delight today!

No doubt it's a frustrating loss. No doubt Clevelanders will milk this one of 15 wins for all it's worth. And deservedly so. 

The main thing to keep in mind here is that this game was clearly a case of one team giving a shit and the other wanting to get the fuck out of Cleveland as fast as humanly possible.

"The majority of the time in this league you get what you deserve," Heat coach Erik Spoelstra told the media afterwards. "And we got exactly what we deserved. They played harder than us, they came out with much desperation and sense of urgency."

The Heat have won 8 of their last 10 and have beaten the Spurs and Lakers during that span. They swept the season series against the Lakers, made NBA history the other night, and are one of the best teams in the league heading into the playoffs.

Keep in mind the Cavs have also beaten the Celtics and the Lakers this season. Of course, you probably didn't know that because apparently it's only the end of human existence when the Heat loses to the Cavaliers. Merry Christmas, America!

Keep Miami New Times Free... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.