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It's That Time of Year Again

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Some mornings, you wake up in South Florida, crack open the newspaper, and think: God is surely dead.

Or maybe he’s just different. In Italy, the nation’s most vulgar and oft-uttered exclamation, Porco Dio, literally translates to “porcine god.” Somehow it seems most true here in Miami.

So, maybe God’s not dead. Maybe he’s just some kind of swamp-dwelling half lawyer, half feral pig with a love of weird violence. That sounds about right.

Then you take a bike ride through Coral Gables and come across an elaborate nativity scene near the corner of Ponce De Leon and Alhambra.

And then you remember that God is supposed to be a perfect Assyrian baby that was born without sex and got nailed to a cross 2,000 years ago and will be back, soon, to kill us all. And that’s why we give each other Christmas presents and Easter baskets. --Calvin Godfrey

Keep Miami New Times Free... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.

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Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.