"Icicles on the Testicles"

Steve Klotz hates cold weather. "Passionately," he writes today on his blog, "Klotz" as in "Blood." And he has a few choice words for you Northerners who relish a good cold snap:

Inevitably, when the first cold snap strikes south Florida, people will beam with pleasure. "Isn't this terrific?" they'll say. "Finally, a break from the heat!"

I respectfully suggest they go the hell back where they came from and pound icicles up their asses. There's weather like this all the time up north in New Wingland and Minneysoda and Walla Walla Washington. It's called spring.

-Frank Houston

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