How to Go Into Business With Dwyane Wade if You're 20 and Live With Your Parents: Without His Permission!

Corporations like Gatorade, T-Mobile, and Nike have paid many millions of dollars to go into business with Heat demi-God Dwyane Wade. But what of the little man? Shouldn't everybody, even if they live with their parents in South Miami, be able to partner with an NBA superstar?

Apparently, 20-year-old Michael James Giron believes in just such an ideal. Because he came up with a great idea: Why not go into business with Dwyane Wade... without his knowledge? Genius!

Last December 10, according to Florida state records, Giron incorporated a company called 3 The Hard Way, LLC. Registered as a partner: one Dwyane T. Wade, Jr. -- with the same wierdly-spelled first name as the Dwyane Tyrone Wade, Jr. who wears number 3 on the Heat.

We don't know much about this Giron guy, except for that he was 19 when he incorporated the company, and he registered it to the South Miami address where he lives with his parents (or some other older Girons). Since we're always on the lookout for dubious Wade business partners to write feature stories about, we decided to dig a little deeper.

"This is the first I'm hearing about this business," his spokesperson

Lisa Joseph told us, before conferring with her client and e-mailing a

statement reading: "Dwyane Wade is not involved in this business

venture and does not have any plans to go into business with Michael


After getting his cell phone number from his mom, Riptide was finally

able to reach Giron on the phone. He was one of the most nervous

interview subjects we've ever had: He kept making strange

whistle-breathing sounds and his answers didn't make much sense. Here's

a taste:

Riptide: So what was 3 The Hard Way going to sell anyway?

Giron: Well, 3 The Hard Way, it was going to be like an internet thing -- (strange groan) -- I kind of left it open.

R: Why is Dwyane Wade listed as a partner?

G: (Another wierd dying-cat-like groan) I thought he was interested, but he wasn't. It was just a misunderstanding.

R: Yeah, 'cause I talked to Wade's publicist, and she said he had never heard of this company.

G: What publicist?

R: Lisa Joseph.

G: Oh, Lisa, yeah. (A long, breathy whistle.)

R: So are you saying you do know Wade?

G: Oh yeah, we're good friends.

R: Where'd you meet him?

G: Miami.

R: How do you know him?

G: Through a mutual friend. I met him years ago.

R: Just to confirm, how old are you?

G: Twenty. (Banshee moan)

R: So you weren't trying to, you know, capitalize on his fame?

G: No, no, nothing like that.

There you have it, we guess. Apparently after we talked to Joseph, she worked some hot cease-and-desist action on Giron, because she let us know that "It is my understanding that the "3thehardway" papers are going to be re-filed to clear up any misunderstanding."

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Gus Garcia-Roberts