Ok, so you're cruising north on the Florida Turnpike. The cops pull you over and you're freaking out, man, because you're holding some seriously illicit shit: A cooler full of 232 lobster tails -- 167 of which are undersized.

Undersized!

Alberto Varea, age 54, of Hialeah isn't the coolest arrestee around, but we're betting he throws a mean dinner party. Yesterday Palm Beach County cops charged him with possession of the illegal tails, a second-degree misdemeanor. (He has no previous criminal record in Miami-Dade.)

Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission officers were summoned to scene and have dubbed the crime "a major wildlife law violation."Says Lieutenant Chuck Russo: "Some people have no respect for Florida's natural resources."

• Crime