Heat-Spurs: A Gordo Grande Loss Smells Bad for the Playoffs

Ayyyyyyy dios mio!

The Los Spurs dropped a biblical ass whooping on El Heat Thursday night in San Antonio, 111-87.

No, no, NO me gusta!

The Heat were sloppy all night, committing 20 turnovers. When you commit 20 turnovers against the Spurs, it doesn't have to be Latin night for you to pick up that good gordo grande "L".

Tim Duncan had 23 points on 9-13 shooting to go with 11 rebounds, and Tony Parker had 17. The Heat have mucho mucho banners, but when these two retire it's time to raise another.

LeBron James had one of his most caca shooting nights of the season, going 6-18 for 19 points. Bosh was a diamond in the turd, scoring 24 points on 10-16 shooting.

This game was not fun, fun was NOT this game. The good news is this game happened last night, not in 2013, so the banner remains. Oh yes, the banner remains.

The Heat wore the above jersey last night, and the above jersey is a thing that is not ok with LeBron. Listen, the Spurs seemed to adjust just fine to the change, so LeBron should have saved his comments for a different night. LeBron will get killed today for the comments, and they would have held much more water after a win, but it doesn't change the fact that he's right - this things are hot garbage. Not to readers, these jerseys look much better on professional athletes, do not try this at home.

Midway through the first quarter LeBron decided to take off his mask, and kept it off for the rest of the game. After the game LeBron said his wife asked him to put it back on, but he will decide game-to-game on if he will wear it going forward. This has been your LeBron mask update. For more information on LeBron's mask, go to , probably.

That's two losses in a row for the Heat, which is especially tough to swallow when coupled with the fact that the Indiana Pacers have also lost two in a row. Not exactly the worst two losses, Houston and San Antonio, but nonetheless, frustrating. The Heat continue this three-game trip Sunday against the Chicago Bulls.

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Ryan Yousefi is a freelance writer for Miami New Times, a lover of sports, and an expert consumer of craft beer and pho. Hanley Ramirez once stole a baseball from him and to this day still owes him $10.