Heat-Mavericks Rivalry Getting Religulous

These days, everyone is weighing in on the rivalry between the Miami Heat and the Dull-ass Mavericks. Even God.

As the Pope's duly appointed representative in South Florida, Archbishop of Miami Thomas Wenski has astutely wagered that the Heat will take the NBA title. Unsurprisingly, his Dallas counterpart, Bishop Kevin Farrell, is backing Neanderthal Nowitzki & Co. to claim the championship.

Click through to see the two priests' rather odd wagers.

For his part, the Harley-riding, whiskey-drinking Wenski has offered Key Lime pie and stogies if the Heat fail to win its first ring since 2006.

Farrell, Bishop of the Diocese of Dallas, has bet BBQ ribs, pecan pie, and a "Don't Mess with Texas" bumper sticker that the Mavericks will prevail.

As we pointed out in a recent profile of Wenski, the archbishop is not your typical, bland, humorless man of the cloth. Case in point, he has also thrown into the wager a fish bowl full of Fort Lauderdale sand, Atlantic Ocean water, and sea shells -- perhaps just to rub it in that Dallas is a landlocked hell hole approximately 300 miles from the nearest beach. At least, that's our interpretation.

Here's to hoping the polyglot priest is more clairvoyant than his Texas counterpart.

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Michael E. Miller was a staff writer at Miami New Times for five years. His work for New Times won many national awards, including back-to-back-to-back Sigma Delta Chi medallions. He now covers local enterprise for the Washington Post.