The Miami Heat held a team meeting prior to Sunday's sleepy late-afternoon tip with the Charlotte Bobcatzzz, collecting all they gave a crap about into one tiny basket. It was the kind of basket you might buy strawberries in. Spoelstra went down the line, and one by one the players pulled out their pockets and frowned in embarrassment. As the line grew shorter, it became more apparent there would be no craps given this night, just semicraps, like the ones given by the person who sent you that mass "Happy Thanksgiving" text this year.
Facing a team with "cats" written across their chests, the Heat came out exactly where they left off at LeBron James' Thanksgiving dinner: asleep. A sluggish start led to a one-point deficit at the half, and before you knew it, the catzzz were up by double digits midway through the third. It looked like the Heat would lose their nine-game winning streak. Kemba Walker was draining threes with his eyes closed; it just didn't seem like the Miami Heat's night.
Then it happened. That shit happened so hard.
BOSHUA Q. BOSHY BEAR SAVED OUR ASSES!
Bosh drained three straight three-pointers, scored 13 straight points, and the Heat overcame a 14-point fourth-quarter deficit to beat the Charlotte Hornetcats 99-98. Miami stretched its winning streak to ten. Bosh finished the game with 22 points and nine rebounds and then wished everyone a Merry Christmas in his postgame interview, on DECEMBER 1, because you're fucking welcome.
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LeBron led the Heat with 27 points, none more important that four straight free throws down the stretch to seal the deal. Wade chipped in 17 of his own and became the all-time leading shot blocker in NBA history shorter than 6'4'', which is like being Santa's tallest elf, but still.
That was a close one -- the Heat very nearly lost to the frickin' Bobcats, you guys. Thankfully, Chris Bosh saved the day, making your return to work today a little easier.