Heat Beat Rockets in Historic Fashion

With the NBA playoffs just a few weeks away, it's that time of year when we get a whole lotta Dwayne Wade and his towering deeds of heroic awesomeness all up in our faces. And even though D-Wade has made his name around these parts as a pretty righteous ass-kicker, it's comforting to know he's got two equally badass dudes playing alongside him as the Heat look to position themselves for their playoff run. How badass, you ask? HISTORICALLY badass.

D-Wade, LeBron James and Chris Bosh each hit the 30-point, 10-rebound mark in last night's 125-119 win over the Houston Rockets. That hasn't been done in 50 years. Bill Simmons can suck it.

James finished with 33 points, 10 rebounds. Bosh had 31 points and 12 rebounds. And D-Wade ended things with 30 points and 11 rebounds. That's a shitload of points and rebounds to go around for one team in one game. And that hasn't happened in the NBA since 1961 when the league was filled with slow white dudes. Also, the last time three teammates scored 30 each in a single game was when Houston did it in 2010. But it took them three overtimes to do it. The Heat's Big Three managed to do it in four quarters of regulation. But it wasn't just to show the world how large their balls are. It was mainly because the pesky-ass Rockets refused to miss shots all night.

Houston almost had their own 30-point triplets with Kyle Lowry and his 25 points, Luis Scola's 28 and Kevin Martin's 29. As they did in their previous meeting earlier this season, the Rockets offense scorched Miami's D and forced the Heat to play tit-for-tat basketball, as both teams kept coming at each other with basket after basket. By halftime, the Heat were up 71-68, completing Miami's highest scoring first half in five seasons, including 38 points in the first quarter.

And in a game that featured virtually no defense for the Heat, we also virtually lost Dwyane Wade. Midway through the second quarter, Wade went up for a rebound and came down on teammate Juwan Howard, who was doing nothing more than just standing in the way. Wade fell hard and bruised his tailbone, forcing him to sit out the start of the second half.

So to recap: Juwan Howard is averaging 3.2 points for the Heat, and almost killed Dwyane Wade.

But because D-Wade is D-Wade: Destroyer of Asses, he managed to come back, play through the pain, and seal the deal for the Heat. In the fourth, with the teams trading leads, Wade did that thing where he says enough of this shit already and just took over. Wade turned a one-point fourth quarter lead into a 107-103 cushion with a 3-pointer. He then drove to the basket and broke ankles to make it a 109-103 lead. Soon after that, a vicious block of a Kevin Martin shot attempt on the other end. Then, with 33 seconds left, a pretty LeBron pass led to a Wade left handed lay up.

The Heat now find themselves two and a half games behind Chicago for the number one seed in the East. The Three Kings have gone from being a league-wide punch line, to becoming the three kings of kicking everybody in the junk until they puke.

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Chris Joseph