The Miami Heat just won their seventh-straight game. Dwyane Wade has been a one-man wrecking ball during that time.
And last night, in the Heat's 120-108 victory over the visiting Sacramento Kings, D-Wade brought his game to new ball-mashing mayhem heights, scoring 30 points on 11-of-16 shooting, getting three steals, and two blocks, dishing out 10 dimes, and body-slamming a police horse outside the American Airlines Arena for no good reason.
With the big huge super terrific gargantuan game against the New York Knicks and ESPN's favorite Chinese guy looming on Thursday night, Miami could have easily overlooked the lowly Sacramento Kings last night.
It was the classic "trap game" scenario.
And indeed it did take a while for the Heat to get going, allowing Sacramento to an early lead with some lethargic play. The Kings jumped out to a 32-26 lead in the first quarter, out-rebounding Miami 16-7.
But then Admiral Ackbar came out and gave the Heat a message:
And before long, the alley-oops were flying and the three-pointers were dropping as the Kings eventually succumbed to a terminal case of getting their asses blowed up.
LeBron James contributed 18 points, while Chris Bosh dropped 20 points and nabbed 10 rebounds.
Meanwhile, Mario Chalmers continued to be dominated by the his alter ego Bizarro Chalmers, scoring 20 points off six three-pointers, four of which came off spot-up jumpers, which was something no one ever thought they'd ever see in their lives. FUCK YEA, BIZARRO CHALMERS!
And, to top it all off, Udonis Haslem moved into second in the all-time Miami Heat rebounds list, bolting over Rony Seikaly and breathing down Alonzo Mourning's neck.
He also scored a put-back jam that gave us this gem:
Udonis Haslem's awesomeness made Heat history, and gave us The LeBrony Dance too. Udonis Haslem's awesomeness is the gift that keeps on giving.
Said Erick Spoelstra of Haslem's accomplishment: "Eventually, he'll be mayor of this town."
He's got our vote. As mayor, Udonis will rely on his toughness, wit and uncanny ability to crush a man's skull to clean up crime and corruption in this city, all while chewing his mouthpiece and grabbing rebounds along the way. UD-style justice. Fuck and yes!
The Heat welcome The New York
Knicks Lins on Thursday night. Tip off is at Lin o'clock (7 p.m.).
Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes.