There are a plenty of terrifying real-life Florida stories for Halloween, but let's be honest: Ain't nothing scarier than clown crimes. And the Sunshine State has had more than its share of felonious clowns terrorizing the population.
230-Pound Man Tries to Rob Bank in Drag Queen Clown Costume
In 2012, Floridian Rondell McGarrett Johnson walked into a Transcona, Canada, credit union in transclowna regalia. He wasn't simply dressed as a clown, but a rather large lady clown. Not only were his boobs fake, but also so was his gun. Despite that fact, he made off with thousands in cash -- before being arrested 15 minutes later. He ended up being sentenced to eight years in prison. Those breasts, by the way: a Nerf ball he'd cut in half.
Masked Clown Invades Home, Ties Up Man, Makes Off With Safe
In 2012, at almost 3 o'clock in the morning, Boca Raton resident Sarah Pastor opened her door to find a man in a clown mask and skeleton T-shirt. It was July, not even anywhere close to Halloween.
If that wasn't scary enough, he was accompanied by two other men armed with crowbars. The clown briefly took off his mask and told Pastor to run, which she did, but the trio found a man inside. They bound his arms with zip ties and tied a bed sheet around his head before making off with a safe that contained a watch, cash, and other valuables. Sherard Ali was eventually identified as the masked clown and arrested.
Noodles the Clown Arrested on Child Porn Charges
Brandon Deyo performed part-time as a children's entertainer known as Noodles the Clown and also worked as a Sunday-school teacher and youth-group leader in Jupiter. But in 2003, he was caught in up in a national anti-child-porn sweep, and more than 100 images of child pornography were found on his computer.
Prosecutors also said Deyo would befriend single mothers to get close to their young daughters. Some images on his computer were found to be taken on a camera owned by a church that Deyo worked for. He was eventually sentenced to 17 and a half years in prison.
Noodles the Clown's Son Arrested
Just six years later, the son of Noodles was also arrested on similar charges. Brandon Cory Deyo, then 21, was arrested in 2009 on five counts of transmitting child pornography.
Cops Use "Coco the Clown" Decoy in Prostitution Sting in Tampa
The clip above is from the show Cops. What in hell is going on in Tampa?
Clowns Terrorize Jacksonville
As the video above shows, just this month residents in the Springfield neighborhood of Jacksonville have found some terrifying footage on their home surveillance cameras: mysterious men dressed as clowns invading their front porches, tearing up pumpkins, and generally looking menacing.
No one has been arrested in the caper yet, and it's not clear exactly what the clowns were up to, though some people have linked the incidents to a similar scary-clown craze in California.
Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes.
