Humor

Florida Woman Arrested for Yanking Ex's Manhood

If you one day hope to rekindle the flame with an ex, it's a pretty good idea to at least try to keep their sexual reproductive organs intact, no matter what fights you get into in the meantime.

Laquavia Sharelle Wallace, a 22-year-old resident of Manatee County, Florida, was arrested Monday on charges that might as well be called "grand-yank penis."


According to the Smoking Gun, Wallace shares custody of her daughter with Antonio Marquis Williams. She went to go pick up the child but also decided to try to get back together with Williams.

Williams told her he "didn't want another relationship at this time," and Wallace didn't take the news well. The two began arguing, and Wallace allegedly reached between his legs and "grabbed Antonio's penis with her right hand and began pulling on it, which caused pain to Antonio."

Williams grabbed Antonio's forearm to stop the penis-pulling.

Police showed up, and Williams refused to press charges. However, Wallace was arrested and booked on charges of misdemeanor battery.

Maybe Wallace misunderstood the wise words of Georgia rapper Lady. You're supposed to make sure your "pussy be yankin'," not yanking on someone else's junk.



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Kyle Munzenrieder