Florida Woman Arrested for Faking Orgasm to Try and Get Her Neighbor's Son to Stop Playing Basketball

Florida residents are world renowned for being exceedingly logical and rational, and so now we bring you yet another tale of Floridians acting completely sane. Ellen Beth Wachs, a woman in Polk County, was feeling a little sick one day when her neighbor's son started playing a loud game of basketball outside. She asked him to stop, but the boy's father decided to act really mature and came out only to play basketball with his 10-year-old son. So Wachs decided to up the ante on maturity and decided the best way to get them to stop was to start loudly sexually moaning. She was arrested, but she says she was only targeted because she's an outspoken atheist.

Wachs' attorney told MyFox Tampa Bay that both the neighbors and local police force have an ax to grind because his client is a fierce defender of separation of church and state. She notably spoke out when the local Sheriff decided to donate basketball hoops used in jails to local churches. On her Facebook, Wachs describes herself as a "Godless liberal registered republican," naturally.

Ironically, much of the controversy surrounding Wachs seems to involve basketball hoops. After her neighbors refused to stop playing last Saturday morning, she started moaning loudly like she was in the throes of passion. The neighbors called the cops, and Wachs was immediately arrested and charged with sexual performance in the presence of a child.

Her attorney thinks that the arrest was in retaliation for Wachs' beliefs.

"I think at a fundamental level this is a reaction to her personal, political or religious positions, and I think that all of this flows from her speaking out in that context," attorney John Ligouri said according to KSN.

"No one observed any sexual activity occur. No one saw her engage in any illegal or illicit sexual activity," Ligouri elaborated to MyFox.

This isn't the first time she's been on the wrong side of the law in Florida. A retired attorney from Pennsylvania, Wachs was arrested last month for practicing law in Florida without a license.

You know, no matter what side of the issues you come down on -- atheist or God fearing soul, basketball lover or hoops hater -- you get the feeling that somehow everyone involved is in the wrong.

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Kyle Munzenrieder