Florida Man Accused of Pleasing Himself in Public Shows Deputy Rash on His Genitals to Prove He Was Just Scratching Himself

Usually flashing your junk at a police officer is a guaranteed ticket to jail, but this is Florida and our citizens can find the weirdest exceptions to any rules.

Police in Port St. Lucie received a call that a man was masturbating in a CVS parking lot, but the man avoided jail time by showing the responding deputy his genitals to prove he was just scratching an itch caused by a rash.

A woman notified police after she noticed a man sitting in his car in the drug store parking lot who appeared to be masturbating. According to Off The Beat Blog, she said the man was "making an up-and-down motion in the area of his crotch." The woman, however, did not see the man's genitals actually exposed.

Police found the man inside of the CVS, but the man claimed wasn't pleasing himself, but rather that "he got the urge to scratch his testicles." The man says he reached into his shorts and started scratching himself in his car. When he noticed the woman was looking he stopped.

The man then asked the deputy if he could show him his rashy testicles to prove he was just scratching. If we were the deputy, we'd probably just be like, "No, that's cool. I'll take your word for it." Though, this deputy is clearly very dedicated to his job and searching for the truth. So the man whipped out his junk, and indeed there was a rash.

With no proof that the man actually exposed himself, and a plausible excuse, the deputy decided that he wouldn't arrest the man.

Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


All-access pass to the top stories, events and offers around town.

  • Top Stories


All-access pass to top stories, events and offers around town.

Sign Up >

No Thanks!

Remind Me Later >